How Do You Measure Up?

When I was growing up, at least once a year my parents and I would get together with my uncles, aunts and cousins on my mother’s side for a gathering with another family named the Hunters. The adults from all the families were long-time friends, their friendship dating back to college and pre-marriage days.

In total there were seven children, no more than about four or five years apart in age. While getting together with the Hunters was a highly anticipated event and looked forward to by all, there was one part of the gathering that I dreaded. I knew, however, that this activity would occur, because it was as much a part of the festivities as my mom’s baked beans and my Aunt Edna’s coleslaw. After dinner, the adults would line us up against a wall to be measured to see how tall we’d grown since the last time we were together.

I hated getting measured! Although I was one of the older kids, I was the shortest. Much was made of those who had grown an inch or two. They were acknowledged with praise and applause, and in my mind, their growth caused them to be seen as superior to those of us who were vertically challenged. I drank my milk, ate my veggies, took my vitamins, and stood up straight, but none of those things seemed to make a difference. When it came to height, I didn’t measure up.

Looking back, of course, I realize that I was destined to never win the height contest. My mother was 5’4, my dad 5’10, and the parents of my peers were much taller. With the wisdom that comes from the perspective of adulthood, I’ve gotten over the disappointment of never reaching the heights of the others. But I’ve also learned that sometimes – even as adults – we feel inferior when we don’t think we “measure up”, even to standards that in reality are beyond our attainment. The heights that we can attain should be measured – not by the yardsticks of others but by our own potential.

Instead of comparing yourself to others, why not start asking yourself if you’re measuring up to your own possibilities. Instead of focusing on what you can’t do, why not focus on what you can do based on your talents and abilities.

Most of us have a very good sense of the areas of our lives that need work – areas in which we aren’t reaching our full potential. For example,

Instead of comparing yourself to an Olympic athlete – a standard that few attain – ask yourself, “Am I as fit as I could be?”
Instead of comparing yourself to Fortune’s 100 richest Americans – and coming up short – ask yourself, “Am I being responsible with the money that I have?”
Instead of looking at People magazine and realizing that you’re not as beautiful or handsome as a Hollywood star, ask yourself, “Am I making the most of my appearance?”
Instead of being critical of your boss because you don’t have his or her job, try being the best you can be where you are.

This lesson in measuring up should not be interpreted as an opportunity for making excuses for your lack of success or for holding yourself to a lesser standard. On the contrary, the challenge is to be your personal best – whatever that is. What is your potential? What could you do or achieve?

Bottom Line: Stop comparing. Measure yourself against your own yardstick.